Interview with a former PUA instructor

I present to you interviews with dating gurus ala a different take. No seriously I had a chance to hang out with a former instructor who I will keep anonymous so he doesn’t get beat down by a bunch of pea cocked guys throwing out negs! Anyway we had lunch, a few beers and some real talk about his thoughts about the community. I took as many notes as possible.

Q: First and foremost your anonymity is safe with me man, so tell me how you became a PUA instructor.

I did really well on my boot camp and the other instructors got together and then I get a private message asking if I wanted to teach. It all was so fast I was excited but nervous.

Q: You know I’ve been pointing out some of the BS that goes on in the community, was your boot camp a good experience? Was it worth it?

It actually was. I honestly didn’t know what to expect, I mean I read the write ups from other guys who had taken boot camps and by the way, don’t believe all of those write ups because a lot of them are fakes like you pointed out, yet I was excited but a bit skeptical. But I learned a few things that I never noticed before and my game improved. I would say out of a 10 I would give my experience a 7. I’ve taken 2 boot camps with 2 different companies by the way. One sucked, and I asked for a refund and I went through loops just to get ½ of it back. The other boot camp was great.

Q: Did you see anything that made you question the legitimacy of the community in general or the PUA’s?

Yeah I mean there was one instructor who kind of hung out and didn’t really do much approaching but stood back and observed. But my instructor was very active and did well in his sets. You start to realize though that the majority of this is about being able to hold a conversation and having balls. Seriously!

Q: You’ve seen every PUA just about. Are they as good as advertised in your opinion?

Some are and some aren’t. Some are good, some are great and some are horrible. I mean really horrible. But you know sometimes it depends on who the audience is. If you’ve never been to a club or interacted with women you would think some of these guys are masters when they aren’t. Me, I was sort of in the middle so no one has blown me away but there are some decent guys. Let me say this though, just because a guy sucks doesn’t mean you can’t learn anything from him. Sometimes the best teachers are the ones who failed in their given profession.

Q: Who’s the best you’ve seen? But remember I won’t stroke any egos by printing any names or discredit anyone either?

Yeah understandable. Honestly I haven’t seen anyone that I can say consistently is the best. The best guys in clubs are athletes! LOL, in big cities I’ve been in athletes get the top of the line women. Okay I know that’s not fair but it’s the truth. No PUA can compete with that. But you know back to who is the best, like I said on a night to night basis I haven’t seen anyone that I can say is above every other top PUA out there. There’s usually a pool of about 5 or more really good pua’s then another 10 that’s okay and then the rest are very mediocre. And we’re talking about the big names here.

Q: So what do you dislike and like about being in the community?

I dislike the infighting and fan clubs! I hate that with a passion. I can’t tell whether we’re a community who wants to improve our skills with women or if we’re sports fans. The dumbest thing to me is arguing over methods! Come on seriously the goal is to get the girl who in the hell cares how it’s done? You have guys arguing against one or the other way, I say “fuck it” who cares if you go in the back door, front door, through the window or down the chimney to get inside? It all works it just depends on the situation, you know what I mean?

Most of these guys will never be successful with women, they are too worried about which guru is getting girls. How retarded is that? When you’re more concerned with how attractive the women are that a guru is pulling then you have maturity issues. If you see a guru out with a girl you find ugly or unattractive then what does that mean? That you have to date the same women? Dumb! But you know I realize a lot of these guys are 18-24 and have that boy mentality and that’s where all of the immaturity comes from.

Q: I totally agree! The best player I’ve ever seen was an older black guy who loved bigger white women. Most community guys would ridicule him because of his taste in women but I would put 3 paychecks on him that he could pull women just as well as 90 percent of the gurus in the community! His mindset is so confident I’ve watched him pull some girls who could be models just to show the doubters but again that’s not what he’s attracted to.

And see you and I get that but these guys don’t get it. You know it’s like everyone has the white European standard, standards that are set by some gay fashion designer and if you deviate from that then you’re not worthy of being listened to or followed. It’s total bullshit.

Q: I definitely agree. What do you think are the biggest myths of the community?

Hahaha, that you have to be alpha for one to pull girls. That’s such bullshit. Yeah it helps but one of the best naturals I know dresses rather feminine and has a skinny build. And man let me tell you he pulls the hottest chicks (especially bisexual chicks) that you can imagine. He doesn’t look that way to get chicks, it’s just he’s always been a Bowie fan and he has this androgynous look about him. Man that guy has some babes! Another one is that you have to have killer game to land the 9’s and 10’s. Bullshit. There are times when I’ve struggled to pull a 7 when my game was tight as fuck, and later that night I would pull a 10 without even trying much. It’s situational! But inexperienced guys don’t understand that. You don’t need a special routine, or some other shit because she’s a 10. Straight up myth!

Q: So a nice guy can pull babes?

Of course. What is up with associating nice guys with every negative trait anyway? See people have no idea what in the hell they are talking about. No one is 100 percent nice all of the time and no one is 100 percent bad. But a guy who has respect, admiration, good qualities and traits and is labeled nice is somehow categorized as weak, a pushover and not attractive. The guys who believe that no nothing, absolutely nothing about what they are talking about. You can't just put a tag on a person, associate it with everything negative and be done with it. So yes a guy who is nice can pull babes, he'll just have a harder time pulling the younger, insecure girls.

Q: The big question: Why did you quit?

I don’t know. I was tired of it. Business was spotty and let me tell you this, instructors don’t get paid a hell of a lot. I mean it’s fun but we don’t make much profit from doing it. A lot of profit comes from the products companies make and believe me a lot of that shit is nothing but rehashed material presented in a different way with maybe a few new theories thrown in. Like any business there’s a lot of politics involved and people not seeing eye to eye. I had had enough. So I left. But there were no real hard feelings.

Q: So you never answered the question: What was the best thing you liked about the community?

The fun I had. The women I met, and there were plenty! The nights spent out gaming women were fun and you was always learning something. You can’t learn this shit reading theories on message boards. You really have to get out there. But you know I realized some things to and that is you don’t always need this stuff to pull gorgeous women. After I left I didn’t run any community game and still pulled girls on confidence and just having something interesting to say and talk about. The only difference is when I was in the community and running game it was easy to get into sets but it didn’t make it that much easier to close. A lot of the top PUA’s are good at opening sets and getting the interaction going but still lack closing skills. But yea it was a lot of fun at times. Some bad times to but that’s expected.

Q: What did you think about the TV show?

I didn’t follow it that much. I watched bits and pieces and you know I’ve heard some say that none of it is scripted and I’ve heard say that some of it is and I’m one of the ones who feel that it is scripted simply because the main reason for these shows on VH1 is entertainment. If they made a show about guys learning chess they would have to add some entertainment value otherwise it would bore it’s audience. But it was a good marketing tool for the company.

Q: Cool, finally what do you see as the future of the community?

I haven’t given it much thought. I think companies will continue to compete for audiences and continue to market themselves with the latest, greatest products. In all honesty I’ve haven’t seen too many products that break much ground from things that came out years back. You see companies put out a 10 DVD, 5 audio CD set and then follow it up with another product that’s very similar but has added a few new ideas then you realize it’s about making money first and foremost. A lot of these guys don’t want to fathom the idea of working a boring 9 to 5 and I don’t blame them. The instructors do work 9 to 5’s but the company president wants to party, meet girls and come home, log on the computer and try to find different ways to come up with new ideas to market. Right now infield footage is the hot thing. When that gets old who knows what will be next.